Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I didn't want to go

Yesterday I started back going to the gym at 5:30 am.  Yeah.  I did 20 minutes on the treadmill (which felt more like 2 hours).  I produced a grand amount of sweat and I was tired after.

But I went. 

Before I went, I had thoughts of, "How did I let myself get so bad again?"  "People are going to see me."  "People are going to judge me."  "People will laugh, even if it's just to themselves, at me."

But despite the fact that I was terrified,  I stepped foot in there.  I did what I could do.  I left feeling proud of myself for going.  For starting.

Today I went back again and tried to find a million excuses for going, and once I go there, tried to find a million excuses I should leave early.  But I got my 20 minutes in.  And I'm confident that tomorrow I can increase that to 25.

So I'm going to do my best.  I may not like it every day, but I'll do my best.